dilemma

toronto is cold.

its not warm, not fun, not emotional, and full of color like jakarta. do i want to be there? i dont know. i was being too proud back then, i showed off about going to stay in toronto. but now, im facing the real truth; like absence a lot for some migration to-dos, booking for tickets, things with us visa that makes me losing up some hair and so on. i just c-c-ant imagine things that im going to miss in jakarta. those that ever appear in my life, family, friends, and not forget mentioning pembokat, tukang angkot dan angkot2nya, pengamen, alay, people in different cultures and jokes about them (betawi norak, padang pelit, jawa bego, sunda centil, batak kasar) and things that you wouldnt find in.. canada?
i mean come on, it would be great for education, more proven for living..
but how would it be if my surroundings wont treat me the same as in jakarta? because i know it would be different, either its better or worse, i still cant face too much difference in instant, i will need much progress.
and the worst thing is, what if it doesnt feel like home?

(university of toronto on winter photo. i dont own it, i googled it. )