where. a small house near my nana's. in the corner of the bed, ahead the laptop desk, a position where i could feel the coldest breeze of ac, and also the loudest sound of the tv. a new place for me, but in no time i'll be sitting somewhere that i cant ever imagine.
when. around 6 o'clock in a birthday of a strongest and most inspirational woman that ive ever known. ive been sitting here for hours, but ive had another days, weeks, or months sitting in the same position since i moved here. the things i remember the most from several months ago i was in a house, a suburban home that i lived there for 15 years. there i was watching tv in the with 3 person that i love to death, it was an ordinary moment back then. and now at 6.26 pm right where im sitting, all i know is that moment will never appear in my life anymore.
why. life changes. so it moves and theres no option to return, period.
how. how what? its fast and instant and hard at the same time. how it feels? well, there's no particular expression to tell, its like living in a broken down train. but suddenly it fixed, and it runs without ends and without a track to go back.
who. wouldnt you like to know? its me, but it could be anyone. anyone who regretted not to make every seconds you took to be precious, anyone who ever thought that they never really like their life, anyone who wasted their life by disappointing their loved ones or else. it could be you.
when. around 6 o'clock in a birthday of a strongest and most inspirational woman that ive ever known. ive been sitting here for hours, but ive had another days, weeks, or months sitting in the same position since i moved here. the things i remember the most from several months ago i was in a house, a suburban home that i lived there for 15 years. there i was watching tv in the with 3 person that i love to death, it was an ordinary moment back then. and now at 6.26 pm right where im sitting, all i know is that moment will never appear in my life anymore.
why. life changes. so it moves and theres no option to return, period.
how. how what? its fast and instant and hard at the same time. how it feels? well, there's no particular expression to tell, its like living in a broken down train. but suddenly it fixed, and it runs without ends and without a track to go back.
who. wouldnt you like to know? its me, but it could be anyone. anyone who regretted not to make every seconds you took to be precious, anyone who ever thought that they never really like their life, anyone who wasted their life by disappointing their loved ones or else. it could be you.
what. there's no obvious intention of me writing this post, i just have been too cryptic for me, for you, for them, for anybody. its hard for me, i have some polar that pulling me from different sides. i've never known who am i and who i have been all along. i recalled things that ive been missing, i remind those moments that wont return, i regret for all of those mistakes, repeat. its crazy, but sadly it happens..
it' almost 7 o'clock, its 39 days remaining to the biggest life change that ive ever had. its 39 days remaining to something that im afraid the most in my life.
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